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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Kick Awesome

My brother Ethan wants people to start using "Kick Awesome" as an adjective.

I wish I had a way to describe how great I think his idea is.


Oh good, they just invented a word that I can hate as much as I hate farmville.

I wish this word had a liver so I could punch it until it ruptures.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Gently Used

It's used, but it has only been used gently. By a really creepy guy wearing rubber gloves.

Monday, August 1, 2011

a Poem

Do you think me heretical
(because I over-use the parenthetical)?

Sunday, July 10, 2011

I literally want to explain this to you.

Grammaticians and Word folks get all bent up when someone says, "I literally died right there", or "I literally passed out from the shock". Because when you say "literally" you mean "it actually happened".

But here is the thing. I think it is perfectly within the American tradition to use hyperbole. I think that adding "literally" makes it's hyper-hyperbole (superbole?). I mean if you said, "I figuratively died right on the spot" it would kind of ruin the statement. Maybe I should start doing that. "I died right on the spot" is pure hyperbole, and I like it.

In any case, I am literally okay with it. I think it a bit clumsy, but I believe that most of the people who get upset at it's usage are the type of people who will tell you whether or not the pun was intended.

P.S. "hyperbole" is a FANTASTIC word.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

It's not so bad.

Even on your worse day, be glad that you don't have to use "frolf" in a sentence.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Ten-Dollar words

One of the reasons why Brian Watkins is an excellent vocabulary ranger is that he introduced me to the term "Nefarious Prevaricators"

Sometimes ten dollar words are just so much fun to use. Some of my favorite words and phrases (and the people that use them):

Brian Watkins: Nefarious Prevaricators
Dad: Sesquipedalian Proclivities
        Blythe Insouciance
Uncle Lyman: Veritable Epicurean Delight

I love to use the word "exacerbate" even though it may sound a little BYP, though I think I have waited my whole life long just to use the word "perspicacity".

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Probably the worst punishment of all is being "hoisted on your own petard",

at least phonetically speaking.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


My high-school health teacher couldn't prounounce "feces", he pronounced it "FECK-ess" and I hate that almost as much as I hate "fecund".

I think calling your wife "fecund" will probably for sure ruin your marriage, even if it is true and desireable.


adjective describing people who are promiscuous with beautiful language, sharing with anyone, regardless of the audience.

you heard it here first. Yeah, I just invented that word, it can't be found anywhere on the Google.

Sunday, January 9, 2011


The world is still agog over my introduction of two words into the modern lexicon, namely:

Alert reader and Vocabulary Ranger Heidi Alder pointed out that the English language has some deficiencies when it comes to speaking about families. Specifically there is no gender-neutral plural for the children of your siblings. You must use niece(s) and nephews(s) depending on the assortment that you have. Heid suggests "nyphews" as plural. I tried niephews but it seemed overlong. What do you think of "neephs"?

I'm going to try it out. I suggest you do too.